heard around the call centre

Jon Dunning starts work at 0700.
Now 16th June 2005 at 1041 ....

and at 1041 on the 16th June 2005 says "ohh shit, 15 calls. Better get a headset".

Jon Dunning Talking a customer through Zone Alarm on the 16th June 2005
 "yes, right click on the one that looks like Knight Rider".

Mamta Jain talking a customer through a web site
 "it must be working, I can see Jesus".

Rick Bains
 "There is only one internet".

Matt Taylor talking to a (none dentist) customer about ADSL
and is suddently talking about his wisdom tooth.

Matt Taylor talking to a EU on the 16th June 2005
 "Yes, I'm a boy and I work in computers".

Jon Smith - sometime last year
 Talking about a no synch fault. "I'm sorry, but I don't have a magic button".

Matt Taylor - 25th July 2005
"The accounts just gone a bit funky"

John Dunning - 24th July 2005 on food
"But I ate at 12"

Jon Dunning - all the fucking time
"Arn't Thunderbird message rules ace"

yes, I'm sorry but I cannot take a "yeah but", you'll need to ask your parents to call
2/oct 1658 - Runsworth
May I now answer your question or may I terminate your call?
3/oct 1020 .. neil minor

"I don't mind been shouted at, but I won't be sworn at"
6th October - 1223. Kev Scott.

On telling a customer that the problem will be sorted on monday,
"I can't tell you when on monday it will be done, but sometime between midnight and 1159 and 59 seconds."
thats not an exact quote, but near enough to get the point.
13th October - 1446. Kev Scott... who else?

Seb Paterson....4th Feb 2007 at 1357
"sir, you are cracking up"

14th Feb 1044 2007 at Keith Hiles
"I'm sorry, I'm sure you are probably not a happy bunny"

19th march 2007 at 1618 - Jon Cowling
 "we are not teachers"

4/4/07 at 0810 - Pete Stone
 "with the greatest respect, I haven't mastered the art of telepathy yet."

11th April 2007 at 1035 - Pete Stone
 "the telephone socket, thats the socket on the wall that the telephone plugs into."

Andy Etheridge - 1955 Nov 9th
"if you don't like the support, don't press the submit button"

James Nelson - 21st Nov 1942
"As long as you don't have to kill yourself in order to do that"

Jon Dunning - on customer service skills - 7th Jaunary 2006
" hi, it's jon calling from PlusNet ... plus net .... PLUS opposite of MINUS "

Matt Taylor 3/10/05 - 1243
and if you get a monkey, go over his head.

Jonny Dunning 23/5/07
"It's obvious to someone who's not an idiot"

Jon Dunning 23/5/07
 "Thats thy they call it broadband. It's broader and you can get more information down it"

The following conversation took place on the afternoon 24th May 2007 when an engineer was booked for 24th May, AM
AJT: How did you engineer visit go?
EU : It's not due until tomorrow
AJT: The engineer was booked for today, the 24th, between 0800 and 1300.
EU : My watch says it's the 23rd!"